“New World”

It’s an interesting change of generations. Working as a sub there are quite a number of older female substitute teachers. I find it interesting in the mornings to listen to everyone. I’ve always known that I would work and work more than just for spending money but for my life like I’ve dne for myself since I was fourteen. At no point in time did I ever think I would never need to work to support myself, although the career path changed a bit. I don’t ever really feel alive unless I have some degree of control, which is partly due to my sometimes massive pride, or at the very least knowledgeable. Now I’m more comfortable with my long-term sub position at Dawson starting my third week, because I recognize most of the students, I know what is expected of me, I know what needs to be done, life/work isn’t a vague situation of maybes, probablys, mights. I like clear cut, my world is far closer to black and white than gray and I’m okay with that.

It’s a bit surreal to hear some of the older female subs with a map in hand, not know who they’re subbing for nor be able to figure out where the classroom is, etc. They’re just so helpless that it’s hard not to alternate between pity and exasperation. I find myself reminding myself that women from that generation went to school to learn household skills, not employable skills, they went to finishing schools, not universities for higher education. But at the same time, if a young women in today’s world carried herself like that she would be considered at the very least lazy, most likely stupid.

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